I Am Not

I started the day with this thought; “What do you do when something is so big it will have to be all God, but it seems like, at the moment, it’s all you?”

That’s where I was yesterday, in my thoughts, about my life. I can’t fathom how it’s suppose to go, much less work. I am required to make a choice. I don’t like the options. I am not equipped to be successful at any choice I make. And then it hit me, that’s exactly where I’m supposed to live. That is the place where I was supposed to land…and take root. I am not.

As much as it depends on me, I am ill-equipped. But it doesn’t depend on me. If I can stay there, then I’m good. Here’s the thing, though, I can’t stay there. It isn’t humanly possible. I can only desire to be there. I can only follow the Lord there. I can only stay open to what He desires to do and His will for my life because I am not.

Here’s the thing too…that applies to you as well.

As long as I am looking at my own strength and ability to do this mammoth thing in my life, I am defeated before I even begin. But if I choose to look to Him, (“When I am weak, I am strong”), when I choose to allow Him to do the work in my heart, minute by minute each and every day that I live, then I will find success. It’s only in Him. Because I am not.

And if that wasn’t enough of a way to begin my day, I read this in New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp’ “Your rest is not to be found in figuring your life out, but in trusting the One who has it all figured out for your good and His glory”.

And I was off again because I am not able on my own to do this thing.

I don’t have to have it all figured out, which is brilliant, because on a good day, I can’t even wrap my mind around the magnitude of it all. The beauty comes, indeed the rest comes from trusting the One Who knows me well, who knew me in my mother’s womb before I breathed my first breath. My strength, courage and my ability…my sufficiency comes only when “I trust in the One who has it all figured out for my good and His glory”.

Because I am not.