I was reading Psalm 13 today. It is actually what I have been consciously and unconsciously thinking for the past eleven months. It states:
How long, O Lord? Will You Forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and hear me, O Lord my God:
Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
Because He had dealt bountifully with me.
I have cried (literally) unto the Lord during this time that felt like exile to me. I have prayed similar words. But I always came back to where else would I go, Lord? Where else is my help?
*My prayer today: My Father, how I thank You that it is unthinkable that You would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice. Who appointed You over the earth? Who put You in charge of the whole world? If it were Your intention and you withdrew Your Spirit and breath, all mankind would perish together and man would return to the dust. (Job 34: 12-15) Instead, my Lord, You have promised that Your plans for Your people are plans to prosper and no to harm, plans to give us hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11)