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You are here: Home / life / Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

life
November 18, 2013

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I am a mother. I have grown kids. My son has been in a relationship for two years. Breaking up is hard to do.

It was a mutual decision between the two of them. They agreed it was time to call it quits. He was okay. I was okay. I have been grieving the fact that she is no longer around. I even had to message her to tell her good-bye…I needed closure.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I’ve been through this before, watching my child’s heart break. His heart isn’t breaking, you understand, but it’s hard nonetheless, because two years is a pretty long time to be with someone. And then they’re no longer there.

You have pictures and things that represent the YOU together, and the memories.

How do I write a post and respect my son’s privacy? But I gotta write this post, you know? Because I just saw on Facebook that she is now in a new relationship.

It was hard to read.

How do you go from being in a committed two year relationship to finding a new guy in…uh, one week?

Just so you know, I had to defriend her. I can’t watch the happy couple in all their new loveness. (I know loveness is not a word. The squiggly red line is telling me so.)

I wish her the very best, I do.

But this is my son…

If you’ve not experienced breaking up as a mother, then my heart goes out to you, because let me tell you, breaking up is hard to do.

It will happen to your child too, sooner or later, chances are, so it’s best to be prepared, as much as you can be. Which you can’t.

Have you experienced this yet? What did you do? What will you do?

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By Laurie

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Comments

  1. Adrian says

    November 25, 2013 at 4:42 am

    Oh my gosh, I am going through SUCH a rough breakup with my 15 year old son. It’s just so sad. He and this girl were so cute together and such good friends to each other. It was just nice for each of them to have someone to talk to every day because neither of them has a lot of other friends. But she has a Mom who is like psycho and she just doesn’t want her to date and particularly doesn’t like my son at all, so after months of drama, they have decided to call it a day. Poor kids – they are both suffering.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 28, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      That is funny that you said you are going through such a break up. It is so hard on we as mothers. Sounds like your son may have gotten out of a bad situation. Life is hard enough without having to be around people who doesn’t like you! I hope all your hearts mend soon.

      Reply
  2. Sarah says

    November 24, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    Laurie,
    I have not experienced this yet as my children are still young. But when I got divorced my parents were both extremely upset by the whole thing. It broke their hearts to see me hurting. Hope this doesn’t happen too many more times!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 28, 2013 at 2:15 pm

      You sound like a wonderful mother. I am sure you will help them through. And yep, me either. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Rachel G says

    November 23, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    I can just imagine how a break up is hard on the whole family–which is one of the reasons why I wasn’t officially “with” my husband until we were already pretty sure we were getting married! I know when all of my younger siblings start dating it will be tough on all of us if we have to go through any complicated relationship issues together!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 23, 2013 at 6:26 pm

      You were smart. It does affect more than just the couple if you hang around and attend family functions.

      Reply
  4. Laurie says

    November 23, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    It was a good decision for them to break up but my boy had a few tears running down his face when he told me. Not having her here for dinner 3 nights a week after classes is hard too but we’re all fine! Not one of my fav things to do as a mom.

    Reply
  5. dishofdailylife says

    November 23, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    We haven’t really been through this, but I know it’s coming. I remember when I broke up with my first serious boyfriend in college, my mom was really upset. She liked him and she wanted me to give him another chance. But luckily I didn’t. I’ve been married to my husband, who I also met in college for 21 years. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.

    Reply
  6. OneMommy says

    November 23, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    Not looking forward to when the kids start dating… I’ve got a few years, thankfully.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 23, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      It’s so hard! Way harder than breaking up myself and I thought I was dying then. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Laurie says

    November 19, 2013 at 2:27 am

    I can get complicated, right? Good for your mom! It is sort of like breaking up with an entire family.

    Reply
  8. Raina K says

    November 18, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    This is a tough one. My sister was in a long relationship and her ex called my parents mom and dad because his own mom had passed away and his dad had been out of his life for a good chunk. When they broke up, it was like he broke up with all of us. He still texts my mom from time to time. And she tries to be there for him when needed. My mom also tries to be transparent with my sister about those communications. It takes time.

    Reply
  9. Rabia Lieber says

    November 18, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    I hear you! My mom always struggled with this when my brother and I were teens. She would have these kids over to her house for months and months and all of a sudden they would disappear, never to be heard from again. It think it’s good that you said goodbye to her and un-friended her. Your son should be your first priority, but you need closure too!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 19, 2013 at 2:26 am

      Thanks! She read this blog post and messaged me. I miss the girl. I feel for her too. Who knew it could get so confusing.

      Reply
laurie
Hello, beautiful, courageous woman. Struggles and dysfunction don't have to define us - they can even drive us to create and live fuller lives. Let's journey together~
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