Letter Four
A series from a mother to her daughters. You can see the last one here.
My Dearest Daughters,
I am proud of the women you have become. Have I ever told you this? You are intelligent, loving, kind, giving women who need no one or nothing to define or validate who you are. Did I give you these gifts? Did I share these things with you? I somehow think not.
I was timid as a child, quiet and shy for the most part. I had a few close friends and enjoyed the times I spent in the company of those chums of mine, but I wasn’t always comfortable in my relationships, even at an early age, and often felt out of my element.
How have you become such confident women, my dearest daughters? I was anything but, and adopted an “I don’t really care” attitude throughout my teen years that lasted well into my adult life.
How have you become so unselfish? I guarded what was mine closely, however much of an illusion that is. Nothing truly belongs to us; we are only caretakers in this life, tending those things that have been placed in our protection and care. That is never truer than when it comes to the people in our lives and the well-being of those we love.
How have you become such free spirits? I’m afraid that wasn’t a trait I possessed either. I played my cards close, and stayed within the self-imposed limits that had a firm grip on my life.
How have you chosen life-mates and close friends so well? Again this was not my forte. I tended to gravitate to those who were somewhat needier than I. Not because I needed them to make me feel better about myself, or maybe so. Maybe that was the very essence of how I came to be in those places.
It seems that I had a lot of life lessons to learn after my formal education was finished. That was when I learned I was the sole possessor of my emotions and thoughts. No one could make me feel anything I didn’t choose to feel. No one could make me a victim without my consent.
My dearest daughters, I could stay on this subject for a very long time to come. The lessons I learned were many, they were needed as well, and unfortunately I wasn’t a quick study. These lessons I continued to learn over and over again. Even now, as the light dims on this life of mine, I know there are lessons I will continue to learn until I take my last breath.
My heart yearns to impart any missing piece you may have not stumbled upon yet, but I can’t, and I shan’t, tis not my place. For now, my loves, I will leave you with this; the harder the lesson is to learn, the more attention that is required of you, the greater the capacity for all things you need. The secret is to continue the cycle once it is started, following down the path, and as you go, learn and grow, you must share these things with others in order to retain what you have so diligently gathered.
Love,
Mother
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