Do You Remember Your First Home?

My oldest son just bought his first house. He and his roommate, who just so happens to be my youngest son, are all settled in, with a little help from their friends.

My mind is drawn back to the time my husband and I bought our first house in 1984. What I remember most about that particular time in history was how we went about obtaining our mortgage loan.

Rates were high during that time, around 14% I think. We heard of a program for first time home buyers. There was a limited amount of loans of that nature, so in order to secure a loan with a lower interest rate, we had to stand in line…overnight…in January when the temperatures at that time were frigid.

And so we did. We talked with those in line who had dreams of their first homes dancing in their heads. That was the ONLY thing keeping them (and us) in that ever-growing, not-moving-until-morning-when-the-bank-opened line, in those deep-freeze temps.

We met a man while standing in line, whose loan officer had a camper on site. This couple took turns standing in that dark, cold line, splitting time in the hot, smoke-filled trailer to catch a wink or two.

We were invited to take advantage of the toasty home on wheels, and so we did.

I don’t remember all the particulars of that night, but I do know that the murmur went out just a few minutes after the bank opened that they had exhausted the funds they were allocated. No more money to lend.

We were heartbroken and exhausted.

Right after getting into bed to catch a few hours of sleep, our phone rang. It was our loan officer telling us of another bank with no lines and plenty of money to lend. And we were off!

A few months later, we moved into our first three bedroom, bath and a half on a crawl space home and I was ecstatic.

Life was hard up until that time. It continued to be hard even after we moved into our first adorable home. As I was thinking about my son moving into his first house, I can’t help but wonder if we would have know what life would hold in our futures, would we make the same choices?

Not just me but you too.

Would we drop the high school boyfriend that all our friends told us was a loser?

Would we skip college?

Would we accept the job? Move to the city? Marry the person?

Would we have stayed in the relationship, raised our kids differently, gone to church more?

If we could know our futures would we change our choices?

I know there are many different nuances to those questions that make it hard to answer. Because we don’t have the ability to know the future. And maybe it’s best if we don’t. We become the people we are today because of the experiences we had in the past. If we based our choices on the future, we would have missed out on some pretty amazing things.

Which brings me back to my son who bought a house.

I am excited for him. This house certainly doesn’t alter any difficult situations he may be navigating, nor does it promise utopia, because, although it is a wise investment, and just all-around cool, it’s simply a place to call home.

We get to make the choices for our lives that seem right at the time, and do the next thing when circumstances change. We get to experience all the things and grow in our relationships with others and most importantly with Jesus.

What life changes are you experiencing? Now that things are trending back to “normal” our society is finding a lot of angst of a different nature. We have just survived a year of unexpected, stressful lonely times filled with loss of different forms. So, how are you doing? How are you navigating this post pandemic season?

I am a certified life coach that helps wives of addicts find hope amid the chaos of living with an addict. But the difficult things have so much in common.

I am also an ordained minister. Let me know how I can pray for you or help you through this time of change.