There is nothing inherently wrong with expectations. We all have them. We expect our kids to comply with the house rules. We expect to get paid for an honest day’s work. We expect certain things of our spouses. We expect our best friends to keep our confidences.
There is nothing wrong with expectations. There is, however, a problem with them. Our expectations sometimes leave us utterly and completely disappointed.
Expectations can lead to disappointment sometimes. If you’ve lived beyond the age of, well two hours, then you have most likely come face to face with expectations and disappointment. They often go hand in hand. The thing is, when we are young we don’t really know this is what is going on; we don’t really put the two together. We may even grow up with the false belief that all of our expectations will always be met and we will be granted eternal happiness here on earth. WRONG!
It’s okay to have expectations. It. Just. Is. But you better keep in mind that there will be times that you will experience disappointment because of them.
So what do we do? Never expect anything from anyone we have a relationship with ever? I hardly think that is possible.
No, I think we would do ourselves a greater service in the long run if we realized our expectations, knew if they were realistic, what was behind them, see if they’re healthy, and decide how important they are to our welfare and that of our loved one, and them communicate those needs we have because of the expectation to our partner. Maybe then our so-called expectations would turn into a place where intimacy can thrive and grow, and our expectations would cease to be the source of disappointment.
That’s just my take on it.
What are your ideas on expectations and disappointments?
#trueitimacy, #transitioningwomen, #authenticyou