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You are here: Home / life / No Going Back

No Going Back

life
February 6, 2014

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I have a guest on my blog today, my friend Chris from The Mom Café. She is one of my very favorite bloggers EVER  and I am honored to have her here sharing No Going Back.

Winter Sky

Chris and I met in blogosphere. I started noticing comments from her on my blog on a regular basis. I’m not sure how she found me but I decided to return the favor and mosey on over to The Mom Café and take a look around. I loved what I found and have been an avid fan ever since. She is not only a gifted writer, she is tons of fun and a kindred spirit. I hope to meet her in person one day. Oooh, I can put that on my 60 x 60 list!

Here’s her post. Enjoy!

No Going Back…

 “I wish I could have let go of my hang ups sooner, had I known what was ahead…”

 She sighed with tears welling up in her eyes.

 The moment lingered, as it’s profoundness ached through the air.

 I looked into her eyes, reaching beyond their brightness and below the tears.  My heart was brought to her place of despair and her desperate plea.  I join her in this march toward the inevitable… a well-worn path that will only crumble more.  Her husband ailing from a disease that strips him of integrity and functioning… as the monster pulls layer upon layer off of his manhood, his living, his dreams.  She too wrestles this debilitating journey into the unknown and the unthinkable… twisted into this fate she did not choose or fathom. 

 She’s facing the relentless fight and agonizing downfall of this plight, realizing what she lost in days gone by, years trudged through… leaving her with gaping holes of regret.

 If only…

 What if?

 Why?

 My heart takes on her view.

 And I am struck by the magnitude of her strength.  The tenacity of her endurance.  Unable to fully grasp her pain, but nonetheless- I am in it. 

 I wish I could turn back time…

 For her.

 I wish I could change her path.

 I wish I could have the power to heal her husband and restore her soul.  I wish I could change the vernacular of her existence and restore her dreams.

 Oh, how I wish.

 But I can’t.

 Her path was set before her.  Designed by her loving God.  He has marked her days with his Loving Hand, and knows full well that it is good.  He reigns over Heaven and earth and makes good of all things for those who love Him and are called according to His Purpose.  His Power and strength do mighty miracles.  He longs for her to trust in him and depend not on her understanding, but allow Him to direct her path.  He offers comfort and peace that will guard her heart and her mind and carry her through her plight.  She clings to this hope, as she sometimes loses her grip and slips down that terrible winding road of hopelessness.

 Let us all take heed of her story, and hear God’s whisper to honor what we have in this moment.  On this day.  As we live our precious and precocious lives.  May we learn from my beloved friend, that things change instantly… and our choices and priorities matter.  Right now. 

 Who are we neglecting?  What would we regret?

 If we became bound and tossed down an unraveling road of tragic terrain, would we be content with the life we had lived?  Or would there be gaping holes left to fill, lying empty alongside the road…

 Forever.

 Look closely.

 Find those empty places and fill them now.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Tammy O says

    February 10, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    So difficult for him, for her, for those walking with her… I love what Lizzi said and agree with it wholeheartedly:
    “I suspect that on the darker days for her, knowing you’re there will be far more important than anything else.”

    Reply
  2. dishofdailylife says

    February 8, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Chris, I feel for your friend…I am sure she takes much comfort in your friendship. This is such an amazing reminder…your words make us reach into ourselves and take stock…see the changes we need to make with better clarity.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 8, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Oh Michelle- I absolutely love that… “your words make us reach into ourselves and take stock…see the changes we need to make with better clarity.”

      Thank you my friend. That is my purpose and my joy. And to know I am succeeding at this very mission, is so incredibly fulfilling!!

      Reply
  3. Amber Day Hicks says

    February 8, 2014 at 1:47 am

    What a soul searching post. Prayers for your friend, my sweet SSSF! XO. ~A~

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 8, 2014 at 5:08 am

      Thanks my precious SSSF!!! You nailed it- we all need to do some soul searching… making sure our precious time with loved ones really counts.

      Reply
  4. Dana says

    February 7, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    It’s so hard to watch people we love suffer, wanting to help them but helpless to take away their pain. I’m sure your presence is a comfort to your friend, Chris. “Find those empty spaces and fill them now.” Words to live by.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 9:46 pm

      Yes, Dana… Yes to all you said so beautifully. I hate seeing people I love in pain. I want to badly to change it, to save them from suffering…

      Those really are and should be words to live by- for us all.

      Reply
  5. stephrufa says

    February 7, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    I’m sorry your friend is facing this tremendous life change. I am so glad she has you to help her – your strength of faith will be a great support to her as she goes forward. Just knowing that someone else has you in their prayers, as your friend, and is there for you is the only thing that will give you peace sometimes. It’s a simple letting go of the overwhelming mental burden and knowing, without asking, that they have you even if you don’t feel like you’ve got it yourself, that can be the greatest gift of friendship. I’m sorry, I’m saying prayers and I’m thankful for the opportunity to read your words here today.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 9:45 pm

      Thanks so much for your sweet words of encouragement Stephanie! I agree- true friendship bears the burdens and remains a constant source of security and support for anyone going through suffering. i pray I can at least give her that…

      Reply
  6. Christine Carter says

    February 7, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    That is HUGE to know and feel peace about your hubs and kids, Stephanie!! I am SO glad you are in that beautiful place!

    Funerals- now there is where we can find some regrets- in those pews. I pray I don’t end up doing the same thing as I sit in the pew, when a loved one passes.

    Reply
  7. Hugs, Kisses and Snot says

    February 7, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    You’re friend is blessed to have you by her side.
    I often sing at funerals. Even though it’s not somebody I know I sometimes picture myself sitting in that pew and wonder how I would react or act or hold up. It’s not a good place to go mentally when you’re about to sing. However, I can honestly say that when it comes to my husband and kids I don’t have any regrets. Life isn’t perfect but it’s a happy one.

    Reply
  8. bethteliho says

    February 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    An important reminder that we (hopefully) all get reminded of from time to time so we don’t forget to fill in those blanks/holes and have no regrets in the future. I appreciate your post today! And happy to meet a new blogger. 🙂

    I’m so sorry for the hard road your friend is going down, but I know it’d be a lot worse without a friend like you by her side.

    xo

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Thanks Beth!! Yes- sharing each other’s burdens is one gift we have been given. I know so well, what a blessing that can be.

      Laurie is lovely- glad you could meet her!!! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Candice says

    February 7, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    A beautiful reminder dear sister….thank you for all the scripture woven into your words…I think the more we sincerely REJOICE in Him during our smoother seasons will help prepare us for complete RELIANCE on Him during the hardest seasons. I think we often neglect where our joy should be directed because every good thing, every single blessing in our lives comes from Him. I wonder if consistent WORSHIP and GRATITUDE with our daily minutes and hours for the blessings in our lives will help us TRUST that he WILL take care of us no matter what comes our way in the darkest hours.
    I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in Him! ….perhaps this perspective during smoother waters will keep regret from creeping in its ugly face.
    xoxo

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      Yes sister!!! It’s so easy to take things for granted and not truly relish in what God has blessed our lives and our hearts with… times we turn our head on things we shouldn’t, speak things we will someday regret, make choices that are not honoring and respecting our loved ones. Worship and gratitude would surely invite more discernment into our daily lives…

      Lets rejoice and be glad in this day the Lord has made!!!

      Reply
  10. Janine Huldie says

    February 7, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Totally wish I could change the path for your friend and was welling up with tears a bit reading this. Thank you Chris for sharing and seriously just can’t even imagine what your friend is indeed going through right now. I will keep her and her family close in my prayers.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 5:35 pm

      Thanks so much Janine… my dear friend could use the prayers!! She is a gem of a person, and I am blessed to know her.

      Reply
  11. anotherjennifer says

    February 7, 2014 at 3:30 am

    So much to think about in this post. Life can change so quickly. Your friend is lucky to have you, Chris.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 6:04 am

      There is a lot to think about- my friend reminds me of this every time I see her. Just knowing her circumstances forces me to really dive into the reality that it all can change so easily and quickly. She is amazing in her strength. I am the one who is honored to be by her side. I don’t know if I could handle her plight. I pray for her daily…

      Reply
  12. Lizzi R says

    February 7, 2014 at 1:53 am

    I’m glad your friend has you. I’m glad you have such convictions about her path. I hope they help. I suspect that on the darker days for her, knowing you’re there will be far more important than anything else.

    Congratulations on another awesome guest post.

    Je ne regrette rien. Je regrette tout.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 3:27 am

      Oh sweet Lizzi, you know how paths take turns you least expect. You know what it takes to survive changes that you never wanted to happen that eat away at your very existence. I wish I could change so many paths of so many people I love…

      So much pain. We MUST hold on to those convictions! That’s simply all we got.

      Now excuse me while I go google Je ne regrette rien. Je regrette tout. Geesh. You always do this to me! 😉

      Reply
      • Lizzi R says

        February 7, 2014 at 7:12 am

        It’s all we got *headdesk*
        It’s all we got *headdesk*
        It’s all we got *headdesk*

        Je regrette…

        (Desole pour la lecon Francaise)

        Reply
        • Christine Carter says

          February 7, 2014 at 9:47 pm

          Okay- after thirty minutes of trying to figure out your french…and careful study of several google links…I believe the jist of this is ‘sorry’ and ‘no regrets’…

          “Headdesk”
          “headdesk”
          “Headdesk”

          Reply
  13. manalgb says

    February 6, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    This such a beautiful post Chris! I wish I could change your friend’s path or do something to help.
    You’re so right, we need to live well for today and I mean be compassionate, help others, not judge and be true to ourselves. Hugs:)

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 7, 2014 at 3:23 am

      Thanks so much for stopping by Manal!! I would give anything to change her path- you know only too well that what we have can change in an instant. It’s imperative we embrace what we have and not take it for granted.

      Reply
  14. tamaralikecamera says

    February 6, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Oh, this is particularly exciting for me because I love both of your blogs and here are you are together! Yes, Laurie – Chris is a gift and certainly someone to meet in person. If anyone is going to any blog conferences soon…

    Gripping and beautiful post, Chris. Brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know her but how I wish I could change her path too.

    Reply
    • Christine Carter says

      February 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm

      Oh thank you SO much for your precious encouragement Tamara! Oh, how I wish I could change her path too… I pray people are moved to make changes NOW and realize life circumstances and precious people are never promised to us forever.

      Reply
    • Laurie says

      February 6, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      I love that I met Chris (though not in person yet) for various reasons. One being she led me to some other really great bloggers…you being one. I love how you all support each other. Chris and I live in neighboring states. Shouldn’t be that hard to meet…hear that Chris? <3

      Reply
laurie
Hello, beautiful, courageous woman. Struggles and dysfunction don't have to define us - they can even drive us to create and live fuller lives. Let's journey together~
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