I Hate Geese

I hate geese. There, I said it out loud.

I know, some of you are in shock, shaking your heads and wondering why I would say such a fowl thing. Geese are loyal, mates for life. They are lovely sight when they gracefully land on the water at dusk.

But they doesn’t change a thing. I hate geese. I have a perfectly logical reason too. No, it’s not the trail of droppings they leave in their wake, though that alone would justify my strong feelings toward them.

I was attacked by a goose last night.

Yes. I. Was.

This wasn’t my first rodeo…I’ve been attacked by an animal before: Click here to read.

I was taking a walk in a business park near my house. I have done it dozens and dozens of times since moving here two years ago. There are a couple of bodies of water in this office park lot. Where there is water, there are sure to be geese. No worries, we’ve co-existed for these two years, yielding to each other and allowing the space we desire.

But not last night…

I was walking in the parking lot, making my way to a walking loop behind one of the office buildings. As I approached the path I noticed a goose standing alone. No harm, no fowl :). I veered away from the spot he occupied but as I passed I saw him rear his head and open his wings and make that nasty hissing sound right before he started racing towards me.

What the heck?!!!

I turned my back, tucked my head and quickly walked away from him. The next thing I knew, I had a goose on my back! He flapped his wing in my face as he tried to nip my ear and then he was gone!

It was at that moment that I spied the reason for his meltdown. There, unbeknownst to me, was his mate, sitting on, what I presume to be, their future goslings. She sat as innocently as could be as her man-goose did the dirty work.

I was pissed, pardon my French. I mean WHAT THE HECK?

I didn’t know the dang goose was there, let alone intend any harm. So I did what any intelligent, grown woman would do…I picked up two very long sticks, one for each hand, and yelled at the attacker goose.

“You want a piece of me”, I said as I wielded my sticks, momentarily forgetting that the goose had just tried to get a piece of my ear. I threw a stick in his direction, not really wanting to hit him per se, but enough to let him know that this office park wasn’t big enough for the two of us.

I also tossed a small stick in the general direction of the mother goose as I continued my walk, leaving the scene of the crime.

It was then that I spotted the two construction workers standing a short distance away. I guess they got their entertainment for the evening.

I’ve never been accosted by a goose before. There’s a first time for everything. I’m still a little ticked, yet I know I need to let it go.

But I know where to find that goose…unless they moved to paths less traveled.