Memorial Day isn’t my favorite holiday, though I certainly do appreciate all of the men and women who have given their lives so that we can experience the freedoms that we have, and the families they leave behind.
It’s not my favorite holiday because 34 years ago I lost my brother in a car accident on Memorial Day Weekend. I paid tribute here: Brothers.
As many spent their three day weekend honoring those who have served our country, I was quietly commemorating another event, and it had nothing to do with my brother.
I’ve written about how my years as a homeschooling mom is coming to an end (see Very First Last Time). Well this weekend officially ended it.
My son chose not to participate in a graduation. Nope, he didn’t walk. Dang it, doesn’t he know it’s all about the mom? My older son did and that was a great closure to his academic career for me, but I knew I had one more, which equaled four more years. Those four years flew by, in retrospect anyway.
Because my son chose not to walk, I was using the play he was in to be the official ceremony (in my mind, that is), the event that signified the end. Boy was it an emotional day. Add that to the fact that the last day of the two day performances happened on the anniversary of my brother’s death, well, suffice it to say I was a bit of a mess.
I even visited the cemetery Saturday morning, the day of the play. I usually don’t go there. My brother isn’t there, just the stone, but that didn’t stop me from talking to him. It’s very quiet in the cemetery and I needed to vent.
I hope this doesn’t creep you out too much. It’s all I have left…that and the memories.
My son was Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man. It was a good show. The cast was great and so was my son. I did okay until the very last song and I’m here to admit I choked back tears…okay, I didn’t. The tears actually spilled over and streamed down my face. I’m not one for crying in public so I tried to gain control but other moms kept asking me if I was okay and giving me hugs and it. was. just. hard.
After the show, I was helping to set the church where the performance is held, back in order. I walked into the women’s restroom to find three girls sitting on the floor, two crying and one consoling. They told me it was my fault. What the heck? Luke is leaving and they were sad.
Join the club, my friends, join the club.
Another memorable Memorial Day Weekend.
Firsts for them, lasts for you. I have seen three high school and three college graduations, and two weddings. It is the way things are supposed to be, but it tugs at a mom’s heart strings. Even though my girls walked, I cried at all their last dance recitals. Your job now is to get to know yourself better and find your purpose for this stage of life.
Whoops! Double post! Didn’t think the first went through.
Such an emotional time! I have been through three high school and then college graduations and two weddings. Lots of firsts for them; lots of lasts for me! It is the way things are supposed to go, but it can tug at a mom’s heart strings! Even though the girls did walk, I cried at their last dance recitals. Feeling your pain! New job for you – finding your purpose and yourself in this new stage of life.
I totally agree, this is the way it is supposed to go but dang, it does tug those heart strings!