A few days ago I wrote a post about being there for you. I was thinking more about that today. My friend Mary (remember that post?) talks a lot about being “there for you” and I was pondering those things today. One such lesson is having people in your life who are there for you.
Mary talks about a home. There is a difference between a house and a home. Did you know that? What do you have? There is love in a home. Love is a verb. Doing the work of love is providing protection for you family, and have an environment in the home that is safe, calm and loving. “If you love me”, Mary would say, “Then you will protect me.”
In some houses there is so much chaos that no one could find safety or even a glimmer of calm even if they searched for hours. What does your dwelling place look like? Are you there for your children, for your spouse or significant other? If so, are you there at the expense of taking care of yourself? Do you know what I mean by that last question?
It is very important to love yourself. That is called self care. Mary talks a lot about self care as well. What are some things we can do to take care of ourselves?
First of all, some people think it is selfish to even think about taking care of yourself. They think it’s all about others. And it is! But not at the expense of YOU.
Do you ever fly? If so then you’ve heard the spiel about the oxygen masks dropping down in case there was a decrease in oxygen in the plane. They instruct parents who are traveling with children to first put on their own masks before they assist the children with theirs. The concept is you’re not much good to someone else unless you are stable enough yourself to assist them.
This is the same idea behind self care. Emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. These are the four boundaries that make up a human. Guess where I learned that? Yep! Mary. The emotional boundary is what makes up the greatest part of who we are. If that boundary gets harmed in any way then you’re headed for trouble in all areas.
Who is there for you? Who are you there for? It’s equally important to know who you’re there for as well. You can’t be there for everyone. You have a core group of people who you can be there for. You can offer help to others outside of this group but the type, quality and time depends on your relationship with them.
It’s very important to take care of the relationships that are important to us. They are living, breathing and in need of time, attention, affection and approval in order to survive and thrive. All healthy relationships need “The Three A’s: attention, affection and approval.
Can you ever say enough about how important it is to be there for those you love? I think not but I am finished for today.
Come back again for some ideas on how to take care of yourself!