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You are here: Home / Uncategorized / Phases of Parenting

Phases of Parenting

Uncategorized
October 1, 2013

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I had my kids later in life and marriage. My husband and I were married for ten years before we had our first child. Two more children followed in that six year period. Those were busy days, not gonna lie. Changing diapers, potty training, nursing, laundry, changing diapers, so many diapers, introducing solid foods and all that goes along with raising children. I loved those days, and if the truth be told, I miss them too.

Phases of ParentingMy great niece.

It seems like all too soon my kids entered a new phase in life…the pre-teen/early teen years. Gone were the days of the minute by minute need to keep them from harm’s way and provide them with basic needs. We were now into the social era. I got comfortable with those years. Sure, I was busy driving them and their friends here, there and yon, but I really didn’t mind too terribly much. I took advantage of those times to connect with my kids, all those hours in the van.

It seems to sneak up on you, each new phase in the life of your kids. Time has a way of turning into another year gone by. And the next thing you know they are passing the driver’s test, which means that life as you know it, is forever altered.

I for one, appreciated the whole graduated license thing. Forget the purpose and intent of that period – driver’s training for the teen. I needed that small chunk of change on the calendar to adjust to the times that were a-changing.  Six months of driving with a licensed driver alongside them, that’s it. Six months. And then they’re off on their own.

Phases of Parenting

That whole period is about way more than the obvious, in a non-obvious kind of way. It’s about letting go. Not for good and not overall, but letting go nonetheless, in a time that proved to be a series of letting go.

Life is all about letting go. Never more so than in parenting. And that six month period of driver’s permit ownership is a ticket, a free pass if you will, to give the parent a little more time to hold on…in a small way, and with a firm grip that is gradually being loosened.

Phases of Parenting

My niece is about to turn thirteen in a few short days from now. Her mom is wondering where the time went. She’s not alone. We have all been there already, or perhaps headed there even now.

And just so you know, it comes sooner than you think.

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By Laurie

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Comments

  1. Andrea @ Cloud Nine Chic says

    November 15, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    Laurie, I loved this post! I too was married for 10 years before we had our one and only daughter. She’s now 5 years old and just started Kindergarten. Even now I often reflect on how fast those 5 years went by, and I shudder to think how much faster the next few years will seem! Since my daughter has ASD, we are not assured of what level of independence she will achieve, but I’ll be so happy nonetheless watching her grow and enjoying every minute that I can!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 15, 2013 at 8:16 pm

      I was so happy to become a mom after all those years. I’m glad to hear it happened for you. I totally get what you mean in watching your daughter grow even with the issues she has. Blessings on your family.

      Reply
  2. Marianne says

    November 14, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    Hi there! Sorry I’m so late from your SITS day, but I wanted to come over and check out your blog. Your parenting posts are so great, it’s nice to see parenting from a different perspective.

    I am a new (and older) mom too. My only son will be 2 next month and sometimes I feel like I am going crazy! And sometimes I feel like it’s going so slow and then others it goes too fast!

    Where is my newborn??

    My step-son (who I don’t have much of a hand in parenting) is actually getting his license in a few months. It’s so insane that this 7 year old boy is already almost 16!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 14, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      I totally get where you are coming from, Marianne! Time has a way of ticking right on by.

      Reply
  3. Christine Carter says

    November 13, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Oh you nailed a another one, my friend!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE this! I am in the ‘middle phase’ now- wondering how we got here. God help me through the driving phase and letting go- and giving freedom and all that. God help me.

    But I better prepare now… it will be here tomorrow. 😉

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 14, 2013 at 1:55 am

      It will but you’ll be ready. I just know it!

      Reply
  4. The Vanilla Housewife says

    November 13, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I have an 8 yo and a 2 yo and I have to say, some days are hard but I take things one day at a time and focus on the brighter side. Their childhood can just pass us by of we are too busy with something else.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 13, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      You are so right. Great attitude! Thanks for visiting.

      Reply
  5. Andrea says

    November 13, 2013 at 3:27 am

    When I had my daughter my mother told me not to blink or else I’d miss her growing up. I cherish those words and spend as much time and create as many memories and traditions with her as I can. I look at her baby pics and want to cry thinking about how she’ll NEVER be that age again. I’ll never hold that infant again. Boo. Hope you enjoyed your SITS Day.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 13, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      Wise words from a wise woman. It sounds like you are embracing it all. Thanks for sharing in my day!

      Reply
  6. Emma @ P is for Preschooler says

    November 12, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    My daughter is only 4 and already I miss the past ages. It is important to just try to stay present and enjoy the age and stage you’re in.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:02 pm

      Very wise words, though sometimes hard to do. Thanks for visiting!

      Reply
  7. Rabia Lieber says

    November 12, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    The days are long and the years are short, right? There are definitely things I miss about babyhood, but there are also things I don’t miss too. I think the key is savoring the zone you are in.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      I totally agree and love the first sentence you wrote.

      Reply
  8. Steph says

    November 12, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    As the mother of a tween, I can totally relate. I know she will be behind the wheel sooner than I think… Happy SITS Day!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      Oh those tweens! Yes indeed, it is just around the corner.

      Reply
  9. mrsthaywood says

    November 12, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    I can so relate to this feeling…like time is simply overtaking me with all the changes. My Teen is in the driving phase and I am definitely holding my breath. I can’t believe we’re THERE! 🙂

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      I know, right? How DOES that happen?

      Reply
  10. Beth says

    November 12, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    You are so right Laurie! My oldest is 13 and he is in a rush to drive, go to college, head to the mall with friends, get a facebook account (not necessarily in that order) and I am trying desperately to stay mindful in my parenting; enjoy the fun times and the fresh-mouthed times because it will all be over in the blink of an eye… at least the first 13 years were.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 9:36 pm

      No phase lasts forever, the good and not so good. Hang on for the ride and enjoy! Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  11. Sarah says

    November 12, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    The days are long, but the years are short 🙂 It feels like my little guy just entered Elementary school, but he’s actually more than halfway through at this point. Happy SITS Day!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:00 pm

      I love that line! It flies, it really does. Thanks for visiting.

      Reply
  12. sjskill says

    November 12, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    I had three teenage daughters at the same time. What was I thinking? Now they are adults and so grown up but still full of fun. Enjoy your SITS Day.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:04 pm

      Haha…yeah, I had three teens for a bit as well. Love the adults they have become, though the getting there wasn’t always easy. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  13. Dana says

    November 12, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Boy, do I know this! My oldest gets her learner’s permit in May, and I’m not ready. But really, will I ever be? Visiting from SITS – hope you have a great SITS day!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:31 pm

      You can never be truly ready lol! It does come in handy and also increases your prayer life! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  14. Nicole Nenninger says

    November 12, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    Visiting from SITS…I have one driver (a sophomore in college) and one who will have her license in 5 months. I remember feeling so overwhelmed as a young parent with 3 small children, no outside help, their father working long hours, moving every year or two–and now in hindsight, I wish I had not spent so much time feeling overwhelmed. We did great! I think the hardest thing my kids have gone through is a divorce and my job as a parent is to keep steady and model grace, wisdom, love, patience, and healthiness (in all ways–body, mind, spirit).

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:51 pm

      Hindsight is always way better! Sounds like you were a very good mom. How blessed they were to have you helping them through. Thanks for visiting and sharing your words of wisdom.

      Reply
  15. vitatrain4life says

    November 12, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Way too soon!! My twins are only 4 1/2 but I’m wondering what happened to my babies? I know as soon as they hit first grade time will flash by even faster. Most days I really want it to slow down or even stop altogether. Parenting is absolutely the hardest job maybe because of the gradual “letting go!” Great post! Visiting from SITS today…

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      November 12, 2013 at 10:55 pm

      Oh, the letting go…Sounds like you are an awesome mom, very tuned in. Thanks for visiting and sharing!

      Reply
  16. Christine Carter says

    October 3, 2013 at 3:15 am

    I love this. Just beautiful laurie!!! I hate the thought of my kids entering that phase. But it’s coming… I know.

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      October 3, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      It is totally coming…but you have some time. Enjoy!

      Reply
  17. Sally says

    October 1, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    Thanks for sharing, Laurie. Even though that time of parenting ~ when you knew where your kids were “minute to minute” ~ is behind you, you were lucky to have been with them so fully during their childhood years. I enjoy your reflections…keep ’em coming!

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      October 1, 2013 at 8:26 pm

      I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Thankful for that time…and thanks for your kind words~

      Reply
  18. Larie says

    October 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    You’re right, it does come sooner than you think. When I had my first child people told me to enjoy it because it goes by fast. I had no idea what they meant but I get it now as my children are 10, 8, 5, and 1 month and even though I’ve been a parent for ten years, with having the 1 month old and how fast he’s changing does remind me that ten parent years ago really does seem like “yesterday.”

    Reply
    • Laurie says

      October 1, 2013 at 8:24 pm

      It’s like a ball rolling downhill…it keeps going faster and faster.

      Reply
laurie
Hello, beautiful, courageous woman. Struggles and dysfunction don't have to define us - they can even drive us to create and live fuller lives. Let's journey together~
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