I’ve been feeling different lately. Physically different. I learned thirty-one years ago that grief can be a very physical thing. It hurts…physically as well as emotionally, and can last for weeks, months, and even years.
I have been in the grieving process, for not just the loss incurred last year but for many things. It seems that for the first time in my life I am shedding the oh so familiar cloak of mourning and replacing it instead with the garment of Life, and it feels really…nice.
What would I have done without my good friends? They shared their lives with me, their love and understanding and even their own worries and concerns, and in that I found comfort, knowing that I wasn’t alone even when I felt so very forgotten. Thank God for friends, true treasures on earth.
Then there are those “friends” who have encouraged me, fed me and built me up with their words through books, people I have never met and probably won’t “this side of the veil”. Without these words of wisdom, I may never have began the journey or allowed God to start chiseling and sculpting me into this new creation He is crafting.
The beauty of this is I”m not doing it. I’m not orchestrating it, controlling it or leading it. My part is simply to follow and allow God to fill me with a love and a forgiveness I have never before felt.
It all started just a few weeks ago while reading Mary Beth Chapman’s book, Choosing To SEE. I had a brief pit stop book called What Happened to my Life by Danna DeMetre. I also checked out Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore and most recently her book Praying God’s Word. I guess it’s a good thing I read so many books at once! Oh and I forgot to mention the couple of fiction books that I grabbed a tidbit or two from. Who knew God could speak to a person, continue to bring healing in the form of fiction? I guess if He can use a donkey to speak His direction to someone, he can use anything!
I’m not quite sure where this path will lead. And I’m good with that. I am sure if I continue to follow it, I will land in an infinitely better place than where I was and that makes all the difference in the world.