As I mentioned in Missing Jan, I am helping my youngest son raise funds for his internship and then two year staff member stint for Josiah Venture. He leaves for his internship in Europe in May.
And they’re starting to change now.
Last night I received a text from my oldest son who still lives at home while working two jobs to put himself through school. He got a job offer which will require a move out of state. Okay, so the state is just across the river, but the point is: things are changing and doing so soon. He will move when he graduates in May.
These are good things. These things are supposed to happen…but wow…they are happening now…
When I texted a friend to tell her about this newest development in my mothering journey, she texted this: ” Wow! Excited? Scared? Sad?” I texted back: “Yes”.
She’s been there so she knows…
It’s the end of an era…again. No more wall-to-wall sports on television on the weekends. No more boys hanging at my house, eating my food…calling me “Adopted Mom” or “Mama Lyons”, no more late nights; sleeping but listening for the front door to open…no more preparing food for the troops.
I’m not the first mother who has ever experienced her chicks leaving the nest, and I won’t be the last. I’m just the mother who is experiencing it now…for the first time…with MY chicks…
Am I happy for them? Yes, yes I am!
Will I miss them? You bet I will!
This is life, happening the way it is supposed to happen.
I try to combat these overwhelming waves of emotions with reasoning. I talk to moms who have been through it before. We kick around the positives. We come up with all the pros these changes will bring. We look at all the negative things others are experiencing with their kids, but here’s the deal…those are all true, those things we came up with. Life could be worse. This is normal. This is good. This is positive…but…BUT…those are head things and this…well, this is definitely a heart thing.
I can deal with the intellect by reasoning, but I have to deal with the emotions with my heart and the tears that follow.
My boys are moving and life is changing again…just the way it is supposed to. They will grow. I will grow too.
There’s not much more to say.
And that’s just what I’m experiencing now…again.
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