I had the opportunity to spend some alone time with my dad the other day, just me and him.
It is always time well spent when you feel like someone is there for you.
I shared with him things that are going on in my life, events and situations that have taken place the past several months.
He listened. He commented. And although I know he doesn’t understand everything I told him; he can’t, I don’t expect him to because he hasn’t walked in my shoes, he hasn’t lived my life, but I came away from time with Dad feeling that he loves me just the way I am, and he cares about my life and those that I love.
I think he felt the same way too; at least I hope he did. I listened as he shared his thoughts, feelings and experiences. I let him feel what he felt and share whatever he wanted. I tried to validate his feelings and experiences without giving advice or sharing my opinion.
That is what a loving and nurturing relationship is all about. It’s what emotionally healthy people do. It’s what emotionally healthy relationships are made of.
He was present and there for me and no matter how old we are, we will always need our moms and our dads.
As I was writing this post I recalled various conversations I have had lately and I feel especially fortunate, not just for the time I had with my dad that day but because my dad is there for me. These conversations were filled with shave, anger and depression. Sometimes these women are talking about their deceased dads that were abusive alcoholics. The pain they lived through with the sexual, physical, emotional abuse inflicted by their dads is so very sad.What a thing to have happen to you. How horrible to have a person who is supposed to protect you and love you become a perpetrator. I have great admiration for those women who courageously face the abuse and make peace with the past and go on to live full lives, no longer letting the past shame and control them.
I admire how they are able, after much hard work, come to terms with the past and begin to build healthy lives and have healthy relationships.
I really didn’t intend to go in this direction while writing this post, however, it goes along with recovery and emotionally healthy living which I have been writing about lately.
Having a dad who is there for you is a blessing indeed.