What is Normal?

The baby of our family (who is 20) came to me in October and asked me if the bump on the side of his neck was “normal”.

What is normal anyway?

The bump was the size of a big marble or giant gumball. Nope, it didn’t look normal to me. Our family doctor didn’t know what the bump was either, so he ran some blood tests which came back “normal”.

What is normal again?

He made an appointment for Luke to see an ENT.  The ear, nose and throat doctor wasn’t sure what was going on either, so he ordered a biopsy.

I decided it was time to get involved up-close and personal, whether Luke wanted me there or not;  so my husband and I made plans to go with him for the biopsy.

Biopsy

Hodgkin

Cancer

Malignant

These aren’t words that have been part of my life.

Things had changed.

The morning after the biopsy, I found myself alone at home,  curled up in a ball, crying out to God and just plain crying;  praying for a normal reading and begging God to let this not be cancer;  trying to cut a deal with God- that He could  give it to me please. Please?!! Just not my baby…

And I realized then that THAT is normal.

Many mothers before me, and I’m sure countless after, will pray those same prayers, say those same words and try to strike a deal with God.

In the midst of those tears and prayers I was gently prompted with this: “Do you trust Me?”

“Yes God, I do, but not my baby. Please, not my baby.”

Amzie Smith, a 17 year old girl in Louisville, Kentucky who inspired so many with her faith through her battle with cancer, died yesterday.   WDRB in Louisville reported this: according to an online post from Tad Douglas, Amzie’s stepfather, Amzie “passed away peacefully” Friday afternoon holding hands with her family members, “as she went to be with the Lord.”

Amzie’s lived her short life well.

So why was Luke different? Why was I?

I turned Luke’s life and my will over to the loving care of my Father who knows way better than I that there is a greater purpose and higher reasons for things I do not understand.

On Thursday, I went with Luke to hear the results of the biopsy. The Ear, Nose and Throat doctor’s office is located in a building called The Cancer Center. I pulled into the parking space and gathered my courage and faith as Luke and I quietly walked inside. I glanced around at the many faces who more than likely were fighting cancer in various stages. I prayed that they would find peace and healing.

I pondered and fidgeted as we waited for the doctor.

The biopsy came back with no abnormalities.

I am thankful Luke is healthy, and grateful for a God of mercy, love and compassion.

And I pray that faith in God becomes normal for others who find themselves in similar situations.

Click here to read more about Amzie.