The Mom Café invited me to guest post over the weekend. This is the post that I wrote. Chris, the woman behind the blog, will be a guest here soon. Can’t wait!
Galatians 6: 4-5 says: Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.
I am involved in mentoring women. Most of the women I meet with have relationship issues, usually in their marriages and in various phases.There is no shame or condemnation in what is. Just don’t stay there.
Marriage can be difficult under the best of circumstances. What I have come to realize is a lot of marriages aren’t under the best of circumstances. In fact, many women suffer in silence in a difficult marriage, and so very alone.
We are surrounded by facades; at work, at social gatherings and even at church, maybe especially at church. The many happy pictures painted via Facebook and the myriad of social media platforms only serve to add to this false and painful living that is going on all around us. A picture paints a thousand words, but the picture is a lie.
Here’s the deal, no matter what you are suffering, no matter what secret life is taking place in your house, you can rise above it and live a healthy, godly life that brings honor to your family and is pleasing to your Lord. You just have to know how to do so.
It takes courage, my friend, not going to lie. That’s why you don’t have to go it alone. There is a line in a song my brother co-wrote many years ago that I love. It says: “If you could do it on your own, Jesus never would have left His thrown”. You were never meant to do this alone. God is with you always, true, but He provided people to help you through as well.
Find a tribe. It is imperative that you find a group of women who you can trust to help in your journey. You can lovingly detach yourself from the dysfunctional situation in which you may be a part of and stop living the lie. Find a group to lean on, rely on, talk to, and pray with. It’s a deal-changer.
You are only responsible for your actions; your words. You can’t change another single soul, no, not even your husband, but you can change yourself. You have the God-given freedom to choose to respond instead of react. You get to choose how you want to conduct yourself even under the worse of conditions.
Own your feelings. No one can “make you feel” anything. No. One. The actions of others (especially your spouse) may trigger things inside you, but you own your feelings. You can choose to go with it or not. Like they say, pain is a given, suffering is optional.
Submitting to your husband does not mean giving up who you are, your God-given thoughts, talents, gifts and those things that make you uniquely you. Be you. Be who He made you to be.
I come across so many women who are suffering. Some you would never guess who are suffering .Some you even admire and hold in high esteem. No one knows what goes on behind the smiles.
It’s time to be real. I could tell you my story. It’s long and not very pretty, but God has a way of changing things around for good, if we allow Him to work on our behalf.
Don’t become so consumed with the dysfunction that you forget to live your lives. Find your purpose and be all in.
This post may not be for you or apply to you, but you better believe it does apply to someone close and you may not even know it…yet. Be ready to help a fellow sister who this does apply to.
For not only are we to each carry our own load but we are to bear one another’s burdens as well. Galatians 6:2 says: Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.